You’re Scared Beautifully

In light of World Mental Health Day, I want to share this message that still feels so pure in my heart.

I’m not a very religious person anymore, although I hold my Baptist upbringing near a dear to my heart, I’ve become more spiritual on my journey of Self-Discovery and Self-Love. So naturally it’s been a while since I’ve sat in a church to hear a sermon, well I went for the first time in years and the message was: The scars that we have are beautiful and we should share them. Scars being hardships that we’ve been through be it heartbreak, parental issues, career success and failure etc.

Society often makes us think that sharing our scars is a bad thing to do, they want us to get over it and move on with acknowledging what happens. This isn’t smart and honestly you shouldn’t listen to what society thinks you should and shouldn’t share with people, because your story could give someone else hope. I understand that being selective about who you share with and how much you share is also important, we need the keep some things sacred and protect the things that mean the most, however if you’ve gotten through something that has altered your life and gave you a new perspective or a rebirth why wouldn’t you want to share that?

Anyone who makes you feel as if the traumatic or life changing experiences in your life aren’t that deep or are horrible and you shouldn’t speak on them…. they’re a shitty person period. Leave those people alone and share your light, journey and lessons with people who are willing to listen and understand what you’ve been through. Talking/sharing is an important part of the healing process and personally the biggest part of my journey. Each time I share what I’ve experienced through life I learn something new about myself that I couldn’t see before and that’s beautiful!

I want everyone who reads this to be able to relate and one day when you’re ready to share your scars because they’re beautiful, you’re beautiful.

you’re not dramatic,
you’re not worthless,
you’re not crazy,
You’re not exaggerating,
You’re not talking too much you’re just talking to the wrong people.

You are strong
You are gold
You are capable
You are resilient
You are loved
Your feeling matter
You matter
Your mental health matter
Your emotional well-being matter
You are a King
You are a Queen
You are Are NOT ALONE
It’s okay to not be okay
It’s okay to ask for help

Never lose yourself, trying to prove or hide the real you in a world full of “self”.

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Personal Time Capsule

Personal Time Capsule

Waiting on my vessel
The receiver of my thoughts
The holder of my heart
Each scar I share
There will never be a fear of you not being there
You’re my personal time capsule

I give to you the things that mean the most to me
My hopes, deepest thoughts, fears and dreams
I stand before you emotionally nude
You still think I’m beautiful

Mentally and spiritually
I’m full of light
Basking in the essence of our truth
For once the world stands still
And our capsule is full
I’ll always spend the next life time
Creating memories with you.

– Jay 🌸🐘

God is real

Yesterday rather than have a breakdown, I had a break through. I’ve been battling with a few things for a while now and it’s cause me to shut down completely. I’ve tried in the best way I knew how, to ask for someone to listen and help because I felt myself sinking but unfortunately I broke down.

My two amazing friends did the best they could, and anyone I talked to in between those two I changed the topic of conversation. I began to with in my journal daily asking the universe and God specifically for clarity, guidance, strength and reassurance, and yesterday I received just that in the most purest form! It was totally unexpected and I was damn near defeated inside. I am so grateful for receiving the very thing I needed, the person I had the conversation with and the conversation itself.

I won’t go into specifics about what I’m experiencing, I will say that I don’t like sudden change that I don’t see coming or anything that will negatively disrupt my routine. I have a hard time coming to terms with what was possibly not being that anymore if that makes sense. Sudden change that I never expect affects me deeply, even if it looks like I’m cool and together on the out, I’m falling apart inside and it’s something that I’m working on but you can only work on so much by yourself.

Yesterday I thought about quitting blogging all together, shutting down Doses of Jay, Quitting CampusLately and deleting everything, it’s still a thought just not as strong. My blog was the very thing that helped me grow and come to terms with a lot that I suppressed years ago. I’m not sure what I’ll actually do yet but for now I’m here blogging sharing my experiences hopeful that I can catch whoever’s reading this before you fall.

As my mind begins to drift from this topic, I want you all to know that God or whatever you believe in is real! I asked for clarity/ guidance everyday on my situation and state of mind and I received it in the best way possible. If you’re going through something write down what you’re going through and ask for what you need to help you get through it and be open to receiving it! You could be surprised at how you received your answer and from whom the universe decided to give that answer to you.

I’m going to leave you with a verse I received. Joshua 14:23 “…I know with all of my heart and all of my soul, not one thing has failed, of all the good things God has promised concerning me for all have come to pass.”

 

P.S. if you’re from Snapchat I’m okay I just had a mini breakthrough, I’m not 100% but I will be.

Comforting: Anxiety Filled Depressive Episodes

Mental health is very important and should be taken seriously. Especially with millennials today, it’s so much pressure to be someone who impacts the world in a positive manner. The pressure can be from society and also from ourselves, in my opinion everyone is nervous or anxious about what they’re doing and if what they’re doing is what they should do in order to reach the next level (the level/goals you set for yourself). Some people can snap out of the depressive feeling quicker than most, for those who can not it’s important that the people around them know how to comfort them.

You should not tell some who’s experiencing an anxiety filled depressive episode any of the follow:
• This too shall pass
• Just Pray about it (it’s not as help as people assume)
• Assume
• Make it about you and what you’ve done
• offer an unsolicited opinion
• Pressure them to “Calm Down”
• Force them to interact with other people (let’s go out you’ll feel better, this can actually be damaging)
• See they’re going through something but not acknowledge the change in behavior
• Laughing it off
• “You’re just being dramatic”
• “It’s not that deep”

None of these things are comforting in the slightest way, and could add negatively to whatever the person is already feeling. Personally I do experience anxiety filled depressive episodes, it can be damaging to talk to someone who doesn’t understand how to comfort in these situations but instead of getting upset with these people I choose to educate them, if you know better you’ll do better.

Some of the things that you can do:
• Create a save environment where the person feels comfortable discussing things that bothers them without judgement.
– I’m a Queen Ambassador for http://instagram.com/destinyfulfilledincorped and There is currently a Queen Tour that provides this platform 💕 coming to a city near you.

• Turn them to helpful blogs /Articles (I.e https://dosesofjay.wordpress.com/
• “I’m here if you need someone to talk to”
• Be Reassuring
• Be Encouraging
• Listen to Understand
• Just be there, knowing that they can call on you whenever could honestly just be enough
• Allow them to speak to you when they’re ready
• Allow them to openly talk about their feelings
• Buy them a Journal
• If they want to go to therapy ask to join them
• Be Supportive
• If you notice they’re being more reserved than usual check in on them

The smallest gestures can help so much more than a quick “pray about it” or not acknowledging it at all. Check on your friends especially the ones who have yet to find a way to cop with they’re issues, you may think they’re turning up every weekend because they want to be lit, when their lives could be spinning out of control and they’re not telling you how they feel because you aren’t comforting. Think about it, please check on some you never know what someone is dealing with.

 

Wild Thoughts (Literally)

I just recently wrote a letter to myself, in the letter I have about 40 unanswered questions, I’m not sure when I will open or if I should attach my current answers and compare the differences between my answers whenever I decide to open said letter. I’m debating if I should keep the letter on one of many Zip drives or just email it to myself, I’m thinking Zip drive because my OCD will not allow me to have an unopened email for more than a day.

I think right now I’m in a head space of reflection, I have questions brewing everyday, questions about my childhood, past relationship be it romantic or platonic, current relationship, friendship etc. the crazy thing is I feel as though I’m not at liberty to answer any of these questions because I don’t know what they mean/ what they’ll do for me. I’m detached from certain elements of myself and I’m not sure if the detachment is making room for growth of if I’m silently losing my mind.

I do notice no one really asks me what’s going on with the thoughts in my head, that’s why I don’t share them unless it’s on this platform and even then its only was on the surface at the moment; however, I continue to ask people if they’re okay or need to discuss something that’s on their minds because if left to your own thoughts for too long they can become destructive trust me I know. This is not to say I want someone to ask me now that they read this or what have you, I’m stating that at this moment in my life I’m being more observant than usual which isn’t an issue for me. I’m taking notice of small things that irritate me, make me laugh and smile, upset me or have me feeling indifferent.

This post is mainly for me to keep track of my thoughts because I’m too lazy to find my journal to keep this a private record, then I thought to myself that’s selfish someone somewhere might have similar thoughts as me, so what can I say to them that I in turn need to hear as well.

The answer is simple, There are no mistakes in life. You feel the way you do, struggle the way you do, prosper the way you do, think the way you do for a reason, it’s apart of your life’s purpose and I have to trust that it’ll all make sense and come together even if I don’t see it right now. So to you in the world if you feel like nothing makes sense right now, that in itself makes sense. I encourage everyone to write themselves a letter or write down questions and see where your mind takes you, you’ll be surprised by what it comes up with and if you feel like sharing you know where to email me.

-Jay

One Day or Day One?

I know it’s been a while since I’ve given a Little Motivation on a Monday, truth be told I need a little motivation myself…… then I start to think it’s either “One Day” or Day One. You can continue to put off your dream, goals, responsibilities or what have you with a “One day I’ll do this” or “One day I’ll do that”, which is fine and dandy but when will your One Day become Day One? When will you decide that today will be Day One of your journey towards whatever it is that you’re going to accomplish? I say you’re going to because I believe you can, whatever you want to do speak life into it with certainty!

No matter how long your journey to personal success may be, regardless of how many times you may experience “failures” keep striving for what you want! It (Your Journey) beings on Day One and doesn’t end until you’ve conquered every fear, gotten through every obstacle, clapped for every achievement big or small, moved pasted self-doubt and you reached the point of looking back and saying ” I always knew I was going to accomplish this one day”.

I believe in you, I speak life into your dreams. If you feel like no one else does, Jay has your back and is very proud of you! I’ll leave you with a quote that has motivated me to keep going. ” Sometimes the people with the greatest potential often take the longest to find their path because their sensitivity is a double ended sword – it lives at the heart of their brilliance, but it also makes them more susceptible to life’s pains.” – Jeff Brown

-Jay

This Poem Doesn’t Have A Title Because it’s Random

When I close my eyes I can feel you
Your presence, smelling your Eau de Parfum
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t immediately attracted to you
But I don’t know you at least I don’t think that I do
I contemplated on introducing myself
Name, age, number you know
“Shooting my shot” “give it all I’ve got”
It could go left, fuck it introduced myself
When I eyes connect it was the purest form of intimacy I’ve ever felt
I found you, the one my kindred spirit belonged to
It was the magic of the universe working beautifully the same forces that drew you to me
Created this moment that’ll last an eternity
I never want to forget how this felt, never want to forget how hearing your thoughts and dreams made me melt
I’ll never forget the curves of your face…..          As my mind raced trying to recollect your name I heard my alarm ring sadly this was nothing more than a dry and who you are is till a mystery

Troll Hunter

Written about me and I think is phenomenal and very realistic!, Thank you Shae

It was 3am and all she could do was stare at the ceiling. She gave up trying to sleep at 2am when it was clear sleep wasn’t in her immediate future. All she could think about was how her day unfolded in such an unlikely manner. The internet isn’t typically a kind place when it comes to comment sections but today was different. The collection of vile that had gather below her most recent story was rarely seen outside of a Republican National Convention. You would have thought she praised satan the way they reacted. She didn’t get into journalism to deal with an out of control comment section and that’s what she ultimately spent most of her time doing. Her complaints to her editor always fell on deaf ears. Any time she complained he would simply respond “I get how annoying they are Jay but those angry people in…

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Jae Breeze

Meet Jae Breeze a down to earth Artist from Littleton, NC (252). “. I set the bar and challenge myself and others with everything that I do. As an artist, I can describe myself as the future of the new wave. I say that because of my unique style and effort to make music that’s relatable to the listener. As an artist, if you don’t have a connection with the listener, then they will not listen to what you have to say.”

Writing since 2008 and recording since 2011, Jae Breeze is inspired and motivated by the reactions of his listeners. Music impacts everyone’s lives at some point where it’s for a quick turn up or the lyrics hit home for whatever you’re going through at the time, as an artist creating something that is authentic makes consumers of your work appreciative, in turn inspiring them and allowing them to relate to you as they see themselves. Jae Breeze exemplifies to a T, “The reaction from the listeners keeps me going, along with my family. When you have that type of support system behind you 100 percent, you must be motivated by that. When God sees that potential in you and creates new paths towards it, you’re supposed to keep going through the motivation you just received.”

I appreciate when artists are vulnerable and truthful in their music, it shows that they’re human and they may have gone through some tough times but they grew from it in most cases, Jae Breeze is one of those artist that is true to himself and translate within his music, I support that to the fullest listening to his music gives off great vibes. “I want my music to impact the world to a sense where more people will be moved and motivated to tell there “TRUE” story behind their music. I specified “TRUE” the way I did because I feel like artists, especially the ones in the area, feel as if they must live a lie to get by. If that was the case, then there would be no Jae Breeze, no Jo$hua Sheeran, etc. Once you choose the route you want to take with your music, you have to continue to walk it.” “The ‘Breeze’ behind Jae explains it all. I’m giving your that wavy, smooth type of sound that’s not going to go unnoticed. The true stories, events, lyricism, and metaphors are the things that makes up my musical sound.”

The music industry is a vast one full of different sounds, artist etc. personally the industry/consumers doesn’t know what it’s missing until its created and heard. By missing I mean when I hear a song that’s not what I usually hear on the radio constantly, I always asking myself “where has this been”, “I miss this sound/type/style of music”, “I need more of this. Hearing artist with distinctive and different sounds is refreshing and greatly appreciated. Commercial or mainstream Hip-Hop is cool for turn up occasions but I for one love great lyricism throughout a song. “Personally, I don’t feel like its missing anything. It’s more like what we have lost, because whatever is missing has already happened before in the music industry. I feel like we have lost Hip-Hop. We can’t even say that today’s music is real hip-hop. The only thing that I hear now a day are repetitive lyrics, catchy hooks and beats. Where are the lyrics within the verses? They make no sense like many artists do not take time out no more to take pride in their pen skills. I want my music to bring that type of feel back, to where the listeners will remember more than your hook.”

Within the next five years you can expect for Jae Breeze to still create music and expanding outside of the music to a food business in which he has already started called ‘The Craving Pit’ with a friend and brother. “We’re a chicken wings food business that applies different sauces to the wings to add to the crispy, tasty texture of the wing itself. I also see myself having a career still with the music because the love for it will never die. But, as an artist, I see myself expanding my talents beyond the music and that’s where my food business comes into play. I like to eat, but I love to cook.” Make sure you all keep bumping his music and order some food (I need a plate asap), follow Jae Breeze on all social media too stay updated on any performances and releases.

INSIDE EXCLUSIVE: Jae Breeze is currently working on a new project for the wintertime entitled ‘Intuition’ and the first single “Money Problems will be re-dropping, along with the premiere video for it during the summertime. Stay tuned for the new vibes.

Advice from Jae Breeze: Create your own craft and sound. Be your own artist and push that pen. Honestly, because I love lyrics and if your bars are great, I’m a fan.

Social Media:

Instagram – @therealjaebreeze

Twitter – @musikisinmysoul

Snapchat – @jaebreeze

Music:

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Apple Music: https://itun.es/us/fqThjb

 

Spinrilla: https://spinrilla.com/mixtapes/jae-breeze-4u

 

Tidal: https://tidal.com/album/72846082

 

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/1QinQwMBnGjKiE1yNrWrvZ

 

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/jae-nccu-turner

 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MusikIsInMySoul

 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jae.n.turner

 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealjaebreeze/?hl=en

Overthinking at 1:23 AM

 

Anxiety successfully consumed my mind.

I want to talk about it but I don’t want to come off needy… I don’t need anything from anybody.
I don’t want to make anyone feel obligated to hear me rambling trying to scramble my thoughts together, that’s what it is 1,000 thoughts swarming in my brain consuming my mind creating an overwhelming leery feeling.

So what do I do? I don’t know. If the answer was that simple I wouldn’t be here shedding Denzel tears. I can’t dwell or I’ll sink into a mini depressed state and that draining, I don’t like being/feeling anything other than positive. I need to isolate and recharge, I’ve been putting out a lot of positive energy lately and I need that back.

I hate discussing anxiety episodes because it’s “oh yeah I felt like that but you need to do this” bitch if it was that ease I wouldn’t feel like this, did you ever consider that? I did not ask for your advice. Asking me multiple questions during an episode irritates me because if I knew in this moment I would tell you… offer reassurance not your opinion

It’s shocking seeing as I always have an answer for something, thinking multiple scenarios with multiple outcomes some greater than the other, all the while know that the lesser is more realistic. Acknowledging what it is from what you want it to be, my brain never sleeps I’m constantly thinking, constantly helping /shedding light on someone else’s situation, while keeping my life in the back of my mind. It gets draining I’m not going to lie, will writing this help me? Is writing still my “thing”? Will my word resonate with someone?

Are all of the things I want far-fetched? Will this episode taint my happiness? Am I happy? If I can’t answer my own questions how can I answer someone else’s? It’s now 1:52 in the morning and I’m still up over thinking… I pray a dream catches me and bring some peace. I wonder if I’ll write way to deal with anxiety?

Isolate. Disconnect. Recharge.