Small Strides

It’s no secret that I deal with strong anxiety, it’s only been noticeable for about 2 years now and I honestly convinced myself that I was handling it properly…. I WAS NOT!

What I was doing was masking, I didn’t like the “help” people were trying to offer so I just concealed the anxiety for as long as I could before I reached the spill over point. The spillage would happen like clock work about every three months, I’d have the worst anxiety breaks somewhere better than others but all were equally bad and annoying.

I got fed up with the constant routine, I kept writing in my journal every full moon for the ability to control my anxiety but nothing was getting better until I realized that I really wasn’t putting in any work. YOU can ask God/ The universe to give you something but if you aren’t putting in any work its useless. I had to start doing things that made me deserving of my goal.

  1. Started a gratitude Journal. I don’t write anything negative or any worrisome thoughts in this journal (This is VERY IMPORTANT) nothing but goals and the positive things about my days go inside
  2. Interrupt Anxiety Attacks within the first 5 . it’s important for me to do this now, (because my panic attacks happen in my sleep and the very first panic attack was almost fatal.) It’s important that I pull myself out of that and calm down when I feel the anxious taking over. I tell myself “No we are strong than this, I am worthy, I will not let fear and anxiety take over, I know how to define my destiny” I keep repeating these affirmations until I’ve calmed down.
  3. Write down your goals . I use to just list off what I wanted to achieve and that’s fine for some, however it wasn’t until I started claiming my goals that I seen a true change in how anxious I would get about achieving them and even how disappointed I’d feel if I couldn’t get it done in what I felt was a timely manner.
  4. Stop Limiting yourself. We all put time frames on ourselves whether we know it or not, and that’s not okay. The pressure that comes from a time frame will only fuel your anxious, the closer it gets to the dates set in your mind the more your thoughts of not being able to pull it off will arise.
  5. TREAT YOURSELF. My Sundays are for Self Care Period. I need to recharge and collect my thoughts even the negative ones to check them and myself so that I go into the next week focused with a positive attitude. I’m not giving anxiety room to grow and fester because it’s draining and I don’t have time for it.
  6. Say No. No is your best friend especially when dealing with anxiety, if you keep saying yes to other people’s  request and even your own you will overwhelm yourself and freak out. It’s okay to tell your friends and family no you won’t go out and no you can’t help them. its okay to tell your job that you cannot cover someone else shift (make your coint but don’t over exert yourself). Don’t take on more than you can handle.

This is what’s been helping me out lately and of course I still have plans on getting a therapist but until I find the right one for me I will keep it under control myself. Always remember just how rare you are there is no one quite like you.

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The Detox

With every season we must detox minds, bodies, social medias and more. I personally purge my life every couple of months to make room for a greater me, sometimes especially as a creative I need to delete and isolate somethings from my life so I can find inspiration within myself and new forms.

I usually don’t announce my life detox’s I just let them occur and come back better, however I want people to join me as I cleanse and evolve, let’s evolve together.

Social Media Detox.

  • Challenge yourself to stay off of social media for a set amount of days ( if you are required to be on social media for work limit the amount of hours your active iPhone has the ability to track to usage)
  • Unfollow all accounts that don’t inspire you to be the best version of yourself or spread positivity
  • Go through your tweets and delete reckless comments or things that no longer apply to your life and the person you are becoming

Personal.

  • Write all the things you wish to change or add into your life (example: fitness, reading a book, writing in your journal)
  • Old habits die-hard, rid yourself of negative habits (Example: doubting yourself, minding someone else business, horrible sleeping habits etc.)
  • Skincare if you’re slacking or don’t have one start one
  • take vitamins to increase your health
  • grow yourself spiritually and emotionally

Prep a plan so that you can stay committed and follow through with this detox, it takes about 20 days to create a new habit and 21 for it to stick and there’s 30-31 days in a month you can do anything you set your mind to. be blessed and happy detoxing.

Close Your Mouth and Open Your Mind

Being open-minded is a rather easy task, we just decide to be hell-bent on a negative emotional connotation rather than seeing a possibly obvious positive option. This is all my opinion, I myself am not a closed-minded individual, however there are things that I will not and cannot do, and there’s a difference.

Knowing you cannot do something in any way shape or form isn’t being closed-minded, here’s why; You would have had to exhaust every possible combination to the best of your knowledge and failed. Sought help/advice and still failed. Spiritually whatever it is doesn’t set well with you, I’d advise you not to do it because no one wants bad juju in the universe.

To be closed-minded is to have a narrow outlook in laymen’s terms “My way or the high way”.

General Life.  You literally have no other choice but to have an open mind, Life as we planned it in middle school just isn’t happening as we thought at least not for most of us. In order to really live our best lives to the fully we must be open to different opportunities and paths that may spark our interest; Understand that we must also be open to failing and learning from our mistakes to better ourselves versus putting ourselves down. Life will go a lot smoother if we don’t have a narrow outlook on living I promise you.

Friends/People. No you do not have to agree with everything someone does, says, feels etc. However, you must open your mind to see where someone may be coming from or what they’re going through. Just because it’s not/ hasn’t happened to you or that isn’t the lifestyle you choose to live doesn’t make someone else wrong, It means were all humanly different but generally reach our life’s fulfilling purpose at the same time ( The fuck it period in your life where you do things that feel right to you). Most importantly it’s none of your business how someone chooses to lead their life, you cannot put someone down for how they choose to maneuver through their ups and downs. If they aren’t hurting themselves or others you shouldn’t over step your boundaries with judgmental hypocrisy.

Relationships. We are all different, we all have different love languages and we all have different things that we have to work on in order to grow ( also things we will and will not tolerate). The key thing about being open-minded in romantic relationships are: Communication, Willingness to understand and maybe a little Compromise here and there…. without those things your personal selfishness will definitely overshadow the other possibly turning the relationship into something toxic neither of you should be in. It’s not a hard concept to genuinely hear someone out put aside what you’re used to doing; Most if not often its wrong and unfair, because you cannot treat every person as if they’re the same. You have to understand that everyone is different so you may have to adjust and act accordingly, LEARN YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER simple.

Self. YOU are the most important factor here, you determine your interaction with everything in your life. Be committed to the better person that you want to evolve into, don’t be attached to the old thoughts and ways of doing things. Yes past attributes may have made you into who you are currently but they will not carry you into the best version of yourself, you will be weight down to some extent because you refuse to see a most positive progressive outlook and would rather stick to what you “think” is the best outlook. Despite what you may see the world is progressing people are shedding outdated ways of thinking and evolving with open minds while staying true to themselves. It’s possible, I am not the same person I was 6 years ago I have a more open mind and its the best evolution I could’ve went through as of yet.

I hope this helps someone discover the tools they need to jump start their mental evolution; No longer accept the things that you cannot change, change the things you cannot accept.

Jay.

 

Quarter Life Crisis

Do you understand what this is? Do you know how to deal with it?

I identify a Quarter Life Crisis as being an unsettling unassured subconscious questioning battle between where I am currently and where I thought I would’ve been by now. It is not the same as anxiety and depression whilst carrying heavy undertones of both. They all require a different level of attention and energy in  my opinion.

I just recently put words to this “thing” that I’ve been going through, I’m too young to have it all together yet I’m too old to not have it together you feel me? It makes it difficult to navigate through these feelings when you don’t even know the core (starting point) of it all.

For me the feelings I experience isn’t circumstantial, there isn’t ever a situation that made me feel a way that I can pen point as such if that makes sense. Which, determines how I choose to navigate my way through this Quarter life Crisis.

  1. I have to live with what I’m experiencing, if I don’t allow whatever I’m felling to become a full entity I wont be able to understand or assist someone with the help that I need to get through it.
  2. I contemplate writing in my journal most time I don’t, I end up having several conversations with myself first before I even put it to paper and make it real, and manifesting it by speaking to someone about what I’m experiencing.
  3. I avoid speaking on it until I know exactly how I feel and have some idea of how to use it a motivating force versus letting it spiral into an anxiety filled depressive episode. I don’t like to say {I don’t know” because I do know in some fashion I just haven’t figured it out yet to receive any type of encouragement from anyone.
  4. I tell myself things that a true about where I am, basically I big up and clap for myself. No I’m nowhere near where I thought I should be and where I want to be is always changing (not the core just the paths through trial and error) but I’m learning to embrace my journey for what is turning out to be instead of what I thought previously.
  5. I talk to people not about what I’m experiencing but about what they’re going through, often times we think were alone but were not! and hearing someone else speak without them even knowing I’m going through things helps me put my own BS into perspective. Not talking about myself and actually listening to others vent helps me more than they even know not saying I never need to vent, but in time where I have to words for what’s going on listening is therapeutic af.
  6. I Blog and Meditate as well. but a huge thing I think is making a big difference is replace “I want” with “I Desire”. To want something means that you lack it and you lack nothing,  To desire something means that you have accepted it and it’s already yours you just have to go after it.

Navigating through your Quarter Life Crisis is an everyday thing, the moment you stop manifesting things that are already yours could be the moment those unassured feeling come back and nobody wants that. My desire is that this Quarter doesn’t become a Mid Life, that the steps I’m taking now secures me for the rest of my life.

To all that come across this, you’re not alone were dealing with this at some level and were all going to get through it because were deserving of everything we desire and no pass thoughts or plans can get in between that ( Because we wont allow it).

Never forget how wildly capable you are

Jay.

Long- Term

There are a few questions most people dread being asked;

  1. Tell me about yourself.
  2. Where do you see yourself in 5 Years?
  3. What is your Long term goal (s) ?

It’s like what do you say? you have a general idea but, you can’t spout something you have no plan for, at least you shouldn’t. If you ask me all of these questions fold into each other, they all are a layer of whatever you’ll leave behind when you leave your physical form.

This is about figuring out what you want to put out into the world, creating a plan to do so and sticking to it no matter what. Trust, the process of whatever you want to create isn’t always going to be pretty, easy or even fun. It’s levels to staying motivated and seeing something through, so you can reap the benefits of what once was just a thought.

  • Conceptualize it, you have to know what you want the end result to be.
  • Visualize yourself as a person who deserves everything you see yourself having .
  • write it down, in my personal experience once you write a goal down it becomes a real thing that’s outside of your mind. It can help you never forget what it is that you’re trying to achieve.
  • Fuel it, everyday you wake up you should dedicate at least one part of your day towards (Insert your end goal)
  • Don’t put a time frame on it, if you don’t meet the time limit you could feel crappy. nobody likes that feeling.
  • EMBRACE WHERE YOU ARE!! This is the most important and the most looked over step, If you do not embrace where you are currently in your journey. You will always feel as if you aren’t doing enough and you will never fully appreciate the end result.
  • DONT GIVE UP AND USE POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

Embracing your wins, setbacks, highs/lows etc. is a huge part of staying motivated. when you take the time to reflect on how far you’ve come and compare it to how much more you have left to complete to fulfill your goal, you should feel a sense of overwhelming strength. ” Look how far I’ve come, I know I can do this”.

Once you claimed something and confessed it with you mouth, meaning you speak life into it daily. You then have to speak life into yourself, if you don’t feel confident you’re not going to push through with 110 percent of effort and that whack. Your passion deserves 110 percent always but don’t forget to also build yourself up as well, your can not pour from an empty glass and it crazy to put so much pressure on yourself without giving back.

We get so caught up in our own pressures and standards that I feel we all forget that we can be the very thing that’s standing in our way. Give a 110 percent yes, but note that if you aren’t feeling it that you need to sit down and regroup before you ruin the thing you want the most. Basically check in with yourself weekly as you’re trying to achieve these long-term goals. Note the changes that need to be made to your plan in order to move forward and embrace the struggles as they come because that the only way you’ll have fun and not feel drained.

Everything happens when its suppose to, and the fact that you claimed what you desired, means that the university has accepted it and it will come as long as you work for it continuously in a healthy manner of course. You deserve everything you know want, You will achieve it, You will manifest and cultivate a plan and you will prosper so Good Luck and don’t give up!

 

Vent To You? I Think Not Boo

I’ve been thinking lately about the reason why I don’t vent a lot to people, before my answer was “I didn’t know how” in the mist of healing myself I know I didn’t want to misstate my feelings; however that wasn’t the sole reason. Yes, it was a contributing factor yet the reasoning stood out so clear within these past two weeks, people are self-centered and selfish.

It’s not fair for someone who needs to vent to have that moment turned onto someone. It then creates a side-eye moment and a feeling of “well fck me and how I feel huh”. I’m not sure if most people are a aware of themselves doing this in certain situations, because their intentions could be pure and harmless but their delivery is more damaging and overshadows the intent.

There is a difference between empathizing with similarities and deflecting with dismissive undertones, Nobody wants to feel like their feelings aren’t being acknowledged and dismissed. That’ll make someone decide not to ever vent to you, If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are the person being dismissive you should apologize and move differently, try asking how that person feels, how they want to move forward and what is it that you can do to avoid them feeling like you are being dismissive.

If you are the person that feels dismissed, you should state how you feel, what was said to make you feel that way ,and then find a solution to change how venting with certain people goes. If you choose to ignore the situation because you felt like you done nothing wrong be prepared for your subconscious to possibly eat at you. On your journey of Self Care and healing, It is crucial that you create better paths of energy around you, you can educate and eliminate.

The only way for someone to never forget how to treat you is for you to let them know when something they’re doing is negatively impacting you, and if they can’t respect that then you can eliminate without warning because you told them and they failed to adjust. Don’t just be out here cutting people off for the tiniest thing that has the potential to be fixed, then saying you’re doing it to protect your peace cause then you’re just being asshole-ish in my opinion lol.

The journey is never-ending. There’s always gonna be growth, improvement, adversity; you just gotta take it all in and do what’s right, continue to grow, continue to live in the moment. – Antonio Brown

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

 

Healing Isn’t Linear

Healing is not linear

Take a deep breath in
-hold for 3 seconds-
Release
Say it with me ‘Healing is not Linear’. Let that sink in for a minute and really grasp what that means in its entirety. Whatever you’re trying to recover and grow from, whatever storm may find you in the process; know that without that storm you won’t receive the growth you’ve been praying for. Healing & growth doesn’t always happen in those moments where life seems great, it happens when you’re the most vulnerable.
Let’s think of healing as gardening, you can’t just push a seed in the ground pour a little water and sunshine on it and say Growth. You must dig deep, plant the seed fill the hole with nutrients, water and try your best to consistently protect it from weeds, bugs and harsh weather conditions. It all takes times, you can not rush what the universe has set out for you, you can pout you can take shortcuts etc but if that’s not the way the world wants you to receive your growth; beloved that’s just not going to be the way you receive it.
I used to be one of those “time heals all”, to the people that believe this more power to you maybe that’s your path of healing do you boo. For me that statement is a double entendre:
1. Time will heal all viable scars
2. Sh*t does not always get better with time, you just find better ways to embrace your feeling with time.
I’m number 2, things that ate at me emotionally aren’t necessarily better because of time. The way I embraced the highs and lows of my journey has gotten much better, I used to think that if I ignored the negatives it wouldn’t exist anymore OH BUT IT DOES! Now I embrace the lows while still acknowledging the positives (that’s the most important part).
It’s not about coming across ass this well put together being who can conquer all no matter what, it’s about being real with yourself and other about your journey. You’re not going to be put together or feel great 100% of the time, you’re going to feel low, you’re going to cry! However, you’re going to embrace your feelings look at yourself in the mirror repeat ‘Healing is not linear’ and other self affirmations and keep moving.
The universe loves believers and the universe will also throw whole trucks at you to see if you steadfast in what you believe in. I don’t know who needed to read this (Me I did) but I hope it helps you get through and press on.
I should start signing these again,
                                                        Jay

 

President : Aaron Nash of TheGifted0

Meet President of TheGifted0 apparel Aaron Nash, a fashion designer, I’m a natural born leader, innovator, revolutionary thinker and creative Director. “I consider myself a WOLF someone who sniffs out opportunity like BLOOD”. Having that mentality is great, especially in the world of entrepreneurship, it can be difficult to see other opportunities to enhance your business/brand so this mindset of always seeking out opportunities will take you places you never imagined going.

TheGifted0 is the next major sportswear/streetwear brand in the world, “Our motto at TheGifted0 is exclusivity one of my influences that I didn’t mention is Dapper Dan we don’t just wanna be another brand selling you what we think you should wear. We want to create a free market for our customers to where they can customize and tailor the gear they wish to buy and wear. The website will be launching soon with traditional products and custom limited products as well.” The option to customize apparel is in my opinion underrated, not only do you get to support amazing brands you also get the luxury of creating art, sort of like a collaboration! It’s truly “a design with you in mind”.

“I started my business/brand after I wrote a list of things I was good at and really they were all pointing towards fashion/stylistic/creative talents so I jumped in that water haven’t looked back since.”

Someone once told me that jumping is the easier adrenaline filled part, it’s the aftermath of either landing on your feet or falling flat on your face that’s the terrifying thing, but regardless of either option as long as you get up and keep going that’s all that matters. Staying motivated through the journey of entrepreneurship can be a challenge but if you can see it in your mind you can hold it in your hands. “What motivates me to keep going? I feel I’m God Given and by that I mean my talent/drive is a gift from God it’s quite hard to explain I feel like I was chosen or destined. People have always been drawn to me because of my charisma, my energy is contagious. Under Armour is my biggest motivation I like how they started from a basement and now they’re a billion dollar corporation. PIMP C, Nipsey Hussle, Jimi Hendrix and Edgar Allan Poe are also some of my influences.”

Having an impact on this world is inevitable, your ability to leave a positive impact is not, you get to decide what type of impact and legacy you want to create. “I wanna impact the world positively I wanna be someone that people at the bottom of the totem pole can look at and be like I can be just like him if not better. That’s my ultimate goal as a humanitarian is to inspire, cultivate and lead others.”

“I see myself going far in 5 years. I’m at that stage in my life where I feel like I can conquer anything ( VENI.VIDI.VICI ) as I would say. My hunger will prevail me it’s gotten me this far and I’m only growing over night. I just have to constantly remind myself that Rome nor Nike was built in a day it takes time you must relish the ground work. You have to master every day that’s how you make a whole year count.”

“I offer a variety of products and services clothing of course, sportswear but we are also putting together a marketing agency titled: TheRedApeAgency which is basically just a marketing firm that will service underd0gs and put together strategic marketing campaigns for all of our clients.”

Vision, passion, creating a space where your talents can grow is important in very aspect of life and the career you choose. Without properly nourishing your talents can you truly “follow your dreams? TheGifted0 is a Brand with a vision, definitive passion and a space where their talents can grow, I’m here for it now and what it’ll be in the next few year. Keep up with TheGifted0 on all social media at: @Gifted0Prez @TheGifted0

“ I want TheGifted0 to be a brand that represents survival, perseverance and LEADERSHIP.”

 

Lock The Door

If you invited someone to your house and you found out that they stole from you or damaged your belongs, with no real “explanation” as to why, would you then let them back into your home?

Why is it that we often re-open the door for toxicity, people who’ve hurt us, or people who shown their true selves? Most people call this “seeking closure”; although, closure can be a beautiful thing if received correctly, most people don’t know what closure is. Closure is the coming of terms that an emotional experience is over, I.e “this happened, I felt this, I no longer feel this, I am over this, here’s what I learned from this” you don’t have to speak to the person that hurt you in order to receive closure, closure isn’t about them it’s about and for YOU.

I know a few people who feel like “we need to have one last conversation or a face to face and if you can look me in my eyes and not feel nothing I know it’s over” …… that’s not closure in my humble unlicensed opinion, that’s hope and a yearning for things to work out despite the toxicity that came from whatever lead to that statement being made, if there was any toxic behavior (more than likely there was but not enough for you to be completely done).

For me personally, I’ve never been the one who needed to see each other face to face in order for me to receive closure or to accept that the other party in this situation is over me. However if they needed that face to face to heal than I’m not opposed to having a conversation because everyone’s healing or what have you is different and I respect healing if that’s what they’re seeking. Other than that I internalize the feelings, I fully accept the experience the best ways I know how  for what it was, take the lessons and blessings and move forward, I apply this to every aspect of my life not just relationships and I’ve done well so far.

It’s important to me that I personally maintain my peace, emotional and spiritual stability. So if a person was at all toxic towards me or around me the likelihood of me Inviting them back into my life is damn near nonexistent. Granted people can grow and learn from their mistakes and toxic behavior which is phenomenal for them and I applaud that; however, I just don’t see them being in my life how they once were, I don’t give a flying flip what I accepted in the past I’m not accepting the shit now. The door has been locked you can sit on the porch if you like, the idea of re opening the door for someone who was toxic isn’t appealing to me at this level of my life.

Is there an exception? Possibly if someone shows that they’ve grown and who they are now is appealing and they’re adding to your peace etc. then and only then should you decide if you should re open that door or not, but this needs to be on your terms no pressure, not in the name of seeking closure, no persuasion, no gimmicks none of that and most importantly your time and well-being should feel and be valued and respected highly.

Never let a damaging soul drain you out of your healing because after you poured your healing into them who is there to help you?

Twenty-Four

I asked myself what do I want to accomplish with 24?

I turned 24 almost a month ago and I’ve had plenty of time to think about the things I want to accomplish as a bright semi young (I feel 98) individual.

I don’t have any goals or expectations for 24, honestly I just want to work smarter not harder and amaze myself. I realize that at 23 my expectations were extremely high, while that is wonderful it was also horrible because I would beat myself up because I wasn’t where I thought I should be in a short time frame. I ended up simultaneously living my best and worst life.

I would have highs that made me feel invincible, I was ready to conquer the world with Bentley (My puppy), then in the same breath my whole life was in shambles, I left no room for errors, flukes, hiccups, speed bumps, crisscross none of that. I felt like well damn everyone in my circle is seemingly doing well and I’m stuck here feel like “What are you doing?” Not that I wasn’t excited for them because wholeheartedly I was/am, it was just my own expectations not coming together like I planned.

I know that life is unplanned and that in the end everything will work out the way that it should, I’m totally embracing the fact that 23 was some BULL okay so I’m wrapping it up and moving forward. Literally everyday I tell someone “it’ll all work itself off” in regards to their lives and I think to myself, why don’t you follow your own advice?

I will, I am, 24 I have loose plans with plenty of room for said plans to be cancelled or altered, I’m done stressing myself emotionally and mentally over where I think I should be. Realistically I’m where I need to be right here right now and that’s perfectly fine, I’ll continue to see the good in the “failures”, strive to be better and do better than I did the day before.

I still have goals I want to accomplish in life but I’m not going to cramp them all into one year because who really knows what life will throw at you? Good or bad ( I’m here to receive all the positive extra blessings I had no idea about but Jesus sees fit to place them in my life! Amen, Satan you can get tf on somewhere with the negative uncertainty)

I hope to inspire someone to continue on their journey and trust the moves that you make and that also the moves you didn’t intentionally make that put you in a better position for greatness.

Live your best life how you see fit and prosper, Time cannot be created or destroyed because it’s continuous, you have nothing but time to fulfill your dreams!