I’ve been thinking lately about the reason why I don’t vent a lot to people, before my answer was “I didn’t know how” in the mist of healing myself I know I didn’t want to misstate my feelings; however that wasn’t the sole reason. Yes, it was a contributing factor yet the reasoning stood out so clear within these past two weeks, people are self-centered and selfish.
It’s not fair for someone who needs to vent to have that moment turned onto someone. It then creates a side-eye moment and a feeling of “well fck me and how I feel huh”. I’m not sure if most people are a aware of themselves doing this in certain situations, because their intentions could be pure and harmless but their delivery is more damaging and overshadows the intent.
There is a difference between empathizing with similarities and deflecting with dismissive undertones, Nobody wants to feel like their feelings aren’t being acknowledged and dismissed. That’ll make someone decide not to ever vent to you, If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are the person being dismissive you should apologize and move differently, try asking how that person feels, how they want to move forward and what is it that you can do to avoid them feeling like you are being dismissive.
If you are the person that feels dismissed, you should state how you feel, what was said to make you feel that way ,and then find a solution to change how venting with certain people goes. If you choose to ignore the situation because you felt like you done nothing wrong be prepared for your subconscious to possibly eat at you. On your journey of Self Care and healing, It is crucial that you create better paths of energy around you, you can educate and eliminate.
The only way for someone to never forget how to treat you is for you to let them know when something they’re doing is negatively impacting you, and if they can’t respect that then you can eliminate without warning because you told them and they failed to adjust. Don’t just be out here cutting people off for the tiniest thing that has the potential to be fixed, then saying you’re doing it to protect your peace cause then you’re just being asshole-ish in my opinion lol.
The journey is never-ending. There’s always gonna be growth, improvement, adversity; you just gotta take it all in and do what’s right, continue to grow, continue to live in the moment. – Antonio Brown
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.